I want to make a zoo with you.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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