Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
She just used a chaser for red wine.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
