just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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