I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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