Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
there was a trapeze. enough said
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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