respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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