good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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