Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
