I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
