I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
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