you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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