Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
