That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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