after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
