I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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