Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
