you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
