there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
