Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
