last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Randomize
