Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
