we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
