I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Randomize
