they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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