in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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