when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize
