Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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