theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Randomize
