She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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