that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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