Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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