The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
