kristin has been a bad kristin
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Randomize
