Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
