im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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