all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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