it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
