its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
