i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
