So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
