I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
