The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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