It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
