I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
