i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
