Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
How does one acquire holy water?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
