Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
