A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
