All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
