i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
