my soul wont recognize me after tonight
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
